A New Normal

A few years back, Oprah interviewed a woman who was picking up the pieces after her 4 children where killed.  I will never forget what she said, “I am struggling to find a new normal”. Life would never be the same for her, she was not the same,  so normal could not be the same either.  

In early December we lost our third baby. It is a new normal. I am a a mother of 5 now, two to hold and three in heaven with my Grandma.   It is my belief that an unborn child is  human at point of conception.  I wonder if it is this belief that deepens the sadness. I was told once not to talk about my miscarriage as a baby’s death. That was when I realized my losses was a catalist for my  pro-life beliefs because when I greive over thier lives I say, “abortion is death of a baby”.  They were babies and they did die they would be grieved and I could not hide their short lives. Their lives had a purpose. It was not just a fetus, it was a baby.  Therefore, when I am asked, how many children I have, it is understandable that I feel a little  guilty sometimes  answering, “two”. Because I wonder, “if I was to tell the whole truth would I spark a question in their minds,’ when is a baby a baby?’ “  But to answer; “5, but I lost three”,  requires an  awkward, sympathetic response.  Which is not what I am looking for.  But I can not be silent either. 

The last baby, I suspected would not come to term because I did not feel sick, as I did with my full term babies. So I tried  not to be anxious about the out come but to delight with each day that I carried him, as it could my only chance to “hold” him.  So I held him and I loved him the best I could and for as long as I could. I was 7 weeks.

So I have loved more children than I hold. They  will always be part of my life story.  My losses  have given me a  burdon  for couples who  have difficulty conceiving, and I pray for them fervently until they are pregnant and their baby is born. This are part of my life. This is my normal.

Re-Baking Again

It was my mom who first had me re-bake. I made short bread that no one liked ( no one out of 8 people in our family) that has to tell you something. So I made them into biscuits, at my mom’s request. I remember that they were Delicious!! So when my brilliant idea to make sugar cookies with 100% wheat germ sunk like a rock my only alternative was make them into biscuits. Delicious!! Although I suggest a simpler method than making cookies, blending cookies to crumbs, then making biscuits. These biscuits are the best i have ever eaten!!

This will sizzle and pop your buds!

Take a good, close look because……

This tangy, refreshing, crunchy, lemon dish will not last long whether you are alone in the house or you are serving a few people. This is a great dish for any time of the year except the fall because Autumn is reserved for apple dishes. So with no further a-do, I present to you, Crunchy Lemon Pudding. Let me know what you think.

Base   1/2 cup Margarine, 1/2 cup sugar, 1 cup coconut,       1/2 cup flour. 1 cup corn flakes. Cream the margarine and Sugar then add in order the remaining ingredients. press into a casserole dish mine is 12”x10″ use what you have. Press the base into your pan but leave out at lease a cup for the top (my mom doubles the base so she can have a lot for her crunchy topping and while I mentioned my mom please don’t bring this dish to any church pot luck that my mom will be attending as she has dibs on it) 

O.k Filling  1. cup of Sugar. 2 eggs, 1 Tablespoon margarine,       2 1/2 cups of milk, 5 tablespoons cornstarch, dash of salt,    1 teaspoon lemon rind, 1/2 cup squeezed lemon juice,               1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

  combine 1/2 cup milk with 5 Tablespoons of corn starch

In a pot heat the 2 cups milk, 1 cup of sugar,salt when hot add the cornstarch mixture and stir until thickened,  cook for 2-3 min on low then take some of this mixture out stir to cool a bit add 2  beaten eggs add back into the hot milk slowly, then add the lemon juice ( it is apparently common knowledge that this is the method of adding eggs to hot liquids but the first time I made this we were pulling long stringy pieces of cooked egg from our dessert and mouth! Definitely slowed the eating process down! cook another 2-3 min then remove from heat, stir in the butter, lemon rind and vanilla extract, pour over your base then crumble the set aside base over the top. Bake at 350 F  for 25 min until golden brown. It is best eaten warm and it is good with or without  vanilla ice cream.     

My Dental Stories

What does it mean when you get excited to go to the dentist because it is an outing without the kids?  I have had two appointments this week, enjoying the magazines for close to an hour at each appointment. Granted I had to read quickly because I could be called in at any point but very relaxing to be sure. Then an hour laying in the chair, I could have fallen asleep if it has not been for the the road to Damascus light shining into my eye’s. I laid there chuckling to myself because I realize that this is the only situation that I can’t  get a  word in edge wise! It also reminded me how I loved being a chair side assistant ( that means I did not have my dental assistant certificate) and a few stories that I have during that career.

 I worked for a very smart dentist. I am sure he flew through school and did not have to struggle with learning. I on the other hand take time to learning a new skill. He and the  ceritified assistant trained me on the job so I had no schooling at all. There is a lot to learn in a dental office and many, many small details to remember. It was easy to get confused and to make  matters worse the dentist would become impatient.

At the end of a long day the dentist and I did a root canal for a patient. I was determined to do everything right. During the  root canal I was  required to light the cigerette lighter in one hand and hold the suction in the other. I have had very little practice with the lighter and have always struggled with using it. This time it would be different. I flicked the lighter and was relieved to see the flame, I was on a roll. But the Dr. took longer than expected and I could feel the heat on my thumb, still I would not move positions to readjust, surely he would have his instrument hot enough soon. Then to my horror my glove caught on fire! I just looked at it, no way was it going to get bawled out today. The dentist quickly put the fire out and started to laugh.  It was not a flawless procedure after all. We both had a story to tell that day, along with the day I hit him in the head with the over head light and nearly called “Jesus” in for his appointment instead of Jesus pronounced Hasus.   It was a career cut short because I came to Ontario to get to know my boyfriend  better who is now my husband.  Other wise I would have gone to school an become a cetified dental assistant. I applied to the program before I moved as my back up plan if Jason didn’t work out!

Wrapping with fabric

These are my wrapped Christmas presents. I used fabric and clothspins from my sewing closet to wrap the children’s presents. It is great for so many reasons, the children can unwrap it by themselves, saves money, saves a mess, looks great and saves the planet. The relative’s present have been wrapped with Chantel’s art projects. There is only so much space on the fridge for the water colour pictures. Besides, if it can’t be used, we loose it.